Sunday 8 April 2018

Stunning Beauty Chronicles, part 9 (WHoOG)

And this is going to be the last update for this campaign in a while, combining everything that happened (thus the bullet points format).
For one, I didn't have the time to keep up with the updates. I might never had finished writing it, if it wasn't for someone who PMed me on an RPG forum to ask what happened.
For two, we're looking for a new system for this. Our GM gave up trying to remember what every major NPC can do...and with our style of playing, there are now literally dozens of those around!
Link to the list with all the previous updates of this campaign.



  • We went to visit the Sisters of Bone Kingdom. They turned out to be extremely powerful, and most of them - extremely mad. One of them merely wanted to eat us. Another wanted to seduce...me (my in-game wife said, quote, "fuck, no fuck", unquote - an opposed roll later, the Sister gave up - for now).
  • The sisters are also related to the former Phoenix clan. After we gave them a copy of the manuscropt, they felt well-intentioned enough to inform us that the current Dragon clan isn't THE Dragon clan. Wait, what?... Why, the sorcerer we're after destroyed both the Dragon and the Phoenix clans, which were, back then, basically the same clan (one of them got the female disciples, and the other, the male ones). But he restored the Dragon as a virtuous society...secretly under his command.
  • They wanted the sorcerer dead. They just weren't sure they could deal with him...but we pointed out that he's found a way to bring the Demon Emperor to our world. They got it immediately, but as they say, "we didn't believe anyone powerful enough can be stupid enough". Well, we agreed Da Su Su (whose name we didn't mention) ain't the sharpest knife in the bunch, but it was about saving the world, not her good name as a paragon of mind and forethought. You know, the name that she doesn't even pretend to have? Yeah, that one.
  • They immediately suggested that we kill the mother and the child. We refused to tell them who the mother was, and challenged them to kill us AND find the mother in less time than the sorcerer, AND to be sure to kill the mother without her escaping...they looked well-disposed towards trying. But we offered them a way out, and the death of their enemy. How can a trio of xia refuse - even a non-virtuous, cannibalistic trio like the Witches of Bone Kingdom?
  • Arranging for the transport of well-known cannibals with easily recognisable features, while accounting for their diet, is a hard exercise in logistics. Let's leave it at that, and thank Sunan and Bao for palanquins!
  • After that, we split. Me and my wife went to the Dragons, reasoning they deserve to know.
  • The rest of them went to talk with a former Dragon, now head of her own clan. The Two-Timing Cockerel actually knows her: Lady Plum Blossom of the Purple Cavern Sect! We had a strong argument: had the sorcerer not changed the Dragon clan, she wouldn't have been punished for loving another Dragon member (Master Emerald). It was, according to the Bone Kingdom withches, the custom of the ancient days for disciples of the Dragon and Phoenix to intermarry.
  • Me and the wife arrived at the Dragons' headquarters just in time. After asking to speak in front of the council, we have been asked to wait. Of course, we weren't promised it would actually happen...the Golden Dragons having their doubts regarding the Beautiful People Sect? Who would have thought!
  • However, we didn't expect anything else. The petition was just a way to get a feel for those people! And based on our impressions from the place, we ordered Foxy (who gets regular feeding with us) to follow Bronze Master!
  • Sure enough, Foxy soon found him being a sorcerer, and pinpointed his laboratory.
  • Armed with this knowledge, we went to the Emerald Master, and elaborated all our accusations. He was amazed, to say the least! But at least, he listened, and asked us how we intend to prove it.
  • "Why, don't you want to catch him in the deed of sorcery?", we replied. Golden Dragon members are forbidden, under pain of punishments that can reach "death", to use any sorcery deemed "evil". According to Foxy: the lab "reeked of evil".
  • The Bronze Master didn't make us wait long, and didn't smell the trap...until after we'd sprung it. However, the night before his sentencing, a huge earthquake hit the city that had sprung around the sect's headquarters...the victims were measured in the thousands!
    And, it seems, the Bronze Master had escaped, while we were busy saving people. What a diversion!
  • The remaining Dragons had a lot of soul-searching to do (and some disciples got speeded-up courses). The Emerald Master, however, joined our quest. Was he hoping to gain back the love of Lady Plum Blossom? We suspected that much, but for once, didn't interfere one way or another. "He's a big boy, she's a big girl, let them come to a resolution on their own!"
  • Then we got invited to a villa. There, we were introduced to the Nine Suns Sect's leader. And I found my old teacher, who first introduced me to Kung-Fu...the one I'd thought dead!
  • The man I bowed to and called Sifu also recognised me. It seems he'd thought me dead...and he says I've been the target, not him. Powerful enemies? Definitely, but why would anyone want a budding disciple of kung-fu dead? Either way, I introduced my wife to him, and we promised to get him acquainted to our business: he seemed a bit melancholic, and we had just the right medicine for that.
  • With his help, we managed to persuade the Sect's leader to help us find and kill the sorcerer. Even better, they were keeping in touch with letters...so now, they could just invite him over!
  • The sorcerer came in, in his traditional dress, which obscured his face. Still, it was without doubt a great Kung-fu master, and the sect's leader confirmed that should be him! Thus, we attacked.
  • It was a heavy battle, but we had arranged everything: terrain, numbers, and several sect leaders! We fought like possessed, and suspected that he was possessed. In the end, we prevailed, though many of our side lay down, dead or simply out of combat.
  • And on this note, our last session concluded. At least until we pick a replacement system...though we still intend to continue in the setting!

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