Saturday 24 August 2024

Adventures of Fu: Fu's Ambush Works, Villains Are Executed, Fu Wonders What To Do!

Anyone who reads our After-Action Reports/Actual Plays does so at his or her own damn risk. We don't shy away from stuff that triggers people.
 
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In short, Fu's ambush worked flawlessly. The two xia with him are consummate thieves and spies, so while he was sitting there, they removed the minions of the Four Southern Winds and started attacking them one by one. He distracted the Four Southern Winds and lured one of them in the traps that Silver Cat (Black Fox's sister) had set.
 
Then, when their wizard tried running, Fu chased him. The man tried transforming into a bird, but Fu managed to grab a wing...
 
And when the guy tried to use his beak on his hand, Fu's answer was "let him, I keep breaking the wing, like a fried chicken's".

At the end, one of Fu's fingers didn't work properly, but neither did the wizard's wing. Then Fu broke one of his legs for good measure, too. Then he used a sleeper hold to put him to sleep.

He did eat Minor Miraculous Restoring Pills, which Jing Xiaomei had given him (she calls them "candy"), stopping his own bleeding. Black Fox's sister, Silver Cat, also set the bones in his finger and hand straight, which also helped.

And then we dragged them to the prison (Fu objected every step of the way to having to carry the magorast, but didn't bring himself to execute him to make it easier). At the end, Black Fox put them to sleep, and transported them with a portal! Yay for laziness!
 
The Four Southern Winds all have standing death penalties, ranging from "being torn between four buffalos (or other bovids)" and "death of a thousand cuts", and all got executed literally the next morning!

Fu decided against watching that, though. He finds it fun to break down people that fight him, he's not finding it fun to watch them being killed when helpless. That's just a necessity, nobody wants the 4SW to escape!

Since we got them with a dirty song regarding the octopi* that Black Fox had written, Fu gave him all the money, and told him "that's the best way to gain money with a song"! 
 
Black Fox did, in turn, give it to the Beggars' Fraternity that Fu is part of, but Fu the Falcate Spear believes that this has nothing to do with him, it's between Black Fox and the leaders of the clan!

"But at lest, now I can visit that girl again! Fu the Falcate Spear did capture dangerous criminals", he mused. Black Fox snickered.
 
"I see you'll understand you're a xia, not merely a beggar", he observed, approvingly.

And then Fu went to see Blue Monkey at the Golden Lotus. He brought him the good news about 4SW, told him to be less daring next time (they were already in a fight, why did he need to jump forward?!?), and was already planning to go check whether the Golden Lotus girls have some food remains, when some guards arrived.
 
The personal guards of the local magistrate were there to arrest the elder Jing! He was being accused of plotting against the Emperor!
 
Surprisingly, the man went dutifully. Fu elected to follow him, just as dutifully, and the sorcerer - who wasn't being restrained at all, what kind of arrest is that?!? - actually talked the guards into agreeing! 
 
Turned out, the issue was to be resolved without major issues, too. 
 
The Wolf asked to be put under house arrest, which was granted. He also pointed out that the accusation of plotting against the emperor and his half-brother...makes no frigging sense, seeing as how he is the emperor's granddad, and the uncle of said half-brother. 
 
He didn't mention that the Emperor and his half-brother are actually alive and well. Neither did Fu.
 
Fu only thought that if he was that guy, he'd tell the magistrate to come to him, instead...
 
But the magistrate, probably realizing that this man in front of him might actually be in the running to become next emperor - that is, if the emperor is indeed dead, as the Prime Minister Pei has ascertained - was very, very cooperative. Thus he imposed the required house arrest, and seeing how the elder Jing is the owner of one of the most luxurious whorehouses and lives there when in Middle City, that doesn't look as bad as it might have...

Additionally, the magistrate agreed to send a message that he can't guarantee the security of such an important person, please send someone to bring him to the capital to answer for any crimes!

Of course, as Fu realized with no small amount of enjoyment, if no such person can get inside the city, none of them can be held accountable for bringing the accused to the capital!

Now, keep in mind, I believe that Pei can order him to just bring the prisoner...but he has "read" the intentions of Pei, which are probably to remain a perpetual regent! To get that, he needs to have the support of the administration. And he ain't getting that if he abuses influential members of the administration.

 

And you ain't getting a post as the magistrate of Middle City unless you're influential. So Pei can spoil that plan, but it would cost him.

 

Also, yes, the man whose daughter Fu fucked couple of nights ago is a rather influential one!

 None of this is known to Fu himself.

After that, Fu went to see the police precinct. Finding the cop whom he'd almost sold a book to, he asked whether they have any outstanding jobs that might use the help of a xia.

Turned out, however, that they didn't. I mean, there were some series of thefts from noble families, but Fu shared with the cop that he can't be bothered about property crimes against rich people. They ain't gonna go hungry over it, their fault if they didn't hire good enough guards!

The cop agreed that he doesn't see it as a really pressing matter, either. Then he proved that he's a total stick-in-the-mud, by refusing Fu's offer to buy him a drink. Can't drink while on duty!

 He's one of the few that can't, I think.

Either way, Fu went on to sleep.

Then he got roused by Black Fox himself.

 

*They all had octopi tattooed on their faces! I guess the executioner might skin those during the execution. Or not. Who cares, after all? 

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